I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
walk of shame to my ortho appointment. kids are staring. this little girl just asked her mom if she can havr glitter in her hair too.
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
I am officially in a love triangle with my celebrity crush
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