I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
my room smells like sperm. sweet.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I'm not ok right now. I just walked in on a 600lb woman passed out on the toilet and she walked out and tried to eat her cell phone. I'm on acid I think.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
I could hear them screwing through my bedroom wall again this morning, so I started beat boxing to the tempo.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Randomize
