google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
So apparently I ran down the hall to another party and started handing out uncooked spaghetti to strangers. You'd be surprised how many drunk people will eat raw noodles.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Dude that soap I drank last night is fucking killing me.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Its not often you get to say, "The security guard at my job is my new drug dealer," but as of last night, I get to say it.
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
he just fucked me for my cheese.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
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