Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
My favorite part was when he stopped, looked up in the middle of performing oral sex and asked, "you did know it was Arbor Day, right?"
She gave me a blow job and her mom gave me blueberry muffin afterwards. I love them.
Im going in through the window and borrowing her dog. Dont worry ive done this before. we have an agreement.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Also, you fell asleep with you hand on and around my cock last night.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Randomize
