I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
just drunkenly made mashed potatoes at midnight. what have you done for your calorie intake lately?
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
I'm determined to sit on that face.
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
can I CTRL ALT DELETE this universe
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