I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
1 be hot 2 flirt with everyone 3 use hotness to make people do things for you. It's a simple model.
By the end of the night I was using him as a leg rest and he was handing me pizza rolls when I wiggled my hand. It's a proven method.
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
In other news there is a guy at my office who I'm pretty sure will be wearing someone's skin as a coat one day.
I don't want to flatter myself but after the way he was looking at me today I think it might be me.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
I've grown it out to 70s proportions. I'm calling it my chastity pelt.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
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