Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Just saw some dude tumble down the stairs of the bar while leaving...fist pump...and then sprint down the road
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
Next time, please cut me off before I'm at the point of pooping in the bathtub again
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Last night i walked into a gas station to get condoms. I threw them on the counter and the guy gave me a funny look because i was wearing a bra under an open cardigan and no shoes. I screamed "DONT JUDGE ME!" and he gave them to me for free.
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