you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
Oh my god I'm so bored. The virgin is so disinteresting when I'm not trying to cum on her face.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
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