You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
Is this the girl that wrote "Poon Slayer" across my chest?!
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the last thing I remember was you in the bed with the german guy screaming "wrong hole" I laughed n passed out
u better not lose ur virginity to a sugar daddy who doesn’t post a pic of himself to tinder
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
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