I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Thats like me asking what you think of antisocial polish guys with mysterious rashes
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
