My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
There isn't a single transaction on my online bank account that doesn't involve drugs or alcohol since November 12
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Its okay. I just know how you can text with your hands cuffed behind you back, so I had no idea what "oh shit" meant.
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
