she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
home. puking in laundry basket.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Your "OraGel will numb anything" theory was the worst thing I ever believed in.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
You're fine
I'm hiding in my chest because my walls smell weird. I'm not fine.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Randomize
