I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You blackout rapped the entire DMX song Party Up last night at karaoke without looking at the screen. Then you Tebowed on stage, hugged a black guy, puked in a garbage can, then left. You deserve a medal.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
hey fuckhead. when i said not to grow shrooms in our apartment, that didn't mean "yea, sure. grow shrooms in our apartment"
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Fine I'll cuddle you but only for the purpose of trying to survive
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