Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
ya i looked horrible drunk and pregnant isn't a good combination
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
He just said he was the Jesus of alcoholics.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
BTW I totally understand panda express being popular amongst the highs. I can feel the shrimp being slaughtered in my mouth. It's fantastic.
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
He may not be fully over his current wife yet. But wait until I show him my tits in his office at the end of the day tonight.
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
