I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
Nothing bad can happen when you have a kiwi flavored condom. Absolutely nothing.
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
True strength comes from lack of pants
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
Randomize
