So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
Currently in a meeting. i am playing the not throw up game. god i hope i dont lose.
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
Also, nothing screams "don't talk to me because I'm unstable" like walking around eating cookie dough out of the package.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
You are a super loving wife. But did you, at any point since Thanksgiving, slip me half your bottle of stool softeners?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
I had to join a gym to keep up with this 22 yr old
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
