I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Let's just say, I will never again lick an asshole.
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Put on my pants to go to work and discovered they had melted.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize