here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I found out I was essentially dumped and replaced by a hipster and apparently offered a girl $95 to go out with me. In the spirit of the Olympics I will not be spending any time on the medal stand.
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
Everclear isn't food dammit
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
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