He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Taking shot for every red box on your worst bracket. I have 30. I might die tonight.
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
You remember that guy i fucked in Ireland who stopped in the middle to talk about why he had 8 pillows on his bed? Yeah he's following me on twitter...
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
Randomize
