I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
im pretty sure while i was fucking her my dog was fucking her dog too
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
you don't go into accounting for the pussy....
Side Note: Everyone in my office is getting engaged and having baby showers. And I'm all like, fuck your joy, I just want more string cheese in my life.
Randomize
