I'm gunna smoke cigs today. I feel like I'm in that powerful and gritty mood which requires them
dude, osama threatened the US again
dude. i slept with your sister last night
what?
I saw that as an opertune moment to drop some big news
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
idk, it started getting weird when they were looking up videos of lesbian giraffes
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Randomize
