did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
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