is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
Honestly, I don't care whether it was a guy or a girl. Best blowjob ever.
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
Dude. This guy has a ketchup bottle full of jello shots. Best. Thing. Ever.
Is shaving my mustache contingent on you sleeping over tonight?
Of course the bar would go completely silent right as I yell out "I don't have AIDS"
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
My brother walked up to us as we were making out and was like "hey man, go to town!" and winked
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Oh! I forgot to tell you. Part of that weird ass dream last night. I was jamie lee curtis and I cut off all my hair because yogurt.
Randomize
