I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
he started drinking at 9am with grey goose and pancakes. He IS my hero.
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
I did too many shots and now a kitten is trying to eat my bagel.
You woke up, laughed, proceeded to throw up on me and then passed out again.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Dear awkwardly drunk roommate, thanks for stuffing enough change in my clevage that I could afford a pepsi at work today. Sincerely awesome roommate that put up with your drunk ass
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
Randomize
