well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You can't just leave with hair like that
Is it against health code to come into work half drunk and commando?
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
