WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
Bunch of Navy warships just sailed into New York Harbor for Fleet Week. Nobodys getting laid this weekend.
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
RA just said I set the all time record for a student who lost houseing..30min..I was moveing out while my new roomate was moveing in. know of any off campous places to stay??
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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