Well douche your snatch and let's go!
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
nothing says platonic group sex like a campfire and smores
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
Is it fucked up to venmo someone for plan-b?
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
Randomize
