ya dads aren't the best wingmen
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
After you bought Jesus' name tag off him at the Mexican restaurant you commenced to stumbling around the lobby showing anybody who would listen what would Jesus do.
Stop giving me tequila.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
I've finally done it, I've downloaded some messenger lesbians like to use because some girl wanted to flirt.
Congrats, you're all grown up now.
I FEEL LIKE A GAY BUTTERFLY
He said did you just interrupt me midsentence to admire another man's penis?
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
Can I just fuck someone without it basically becoming an arranged marriage
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
Randomize
