I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
Went to go look for a friend that was missing since 3am, found her passed out in the hallway of the apartment, guessing it was a good night
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
