But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just wnated to let you know that I laminated my history notes so i can study in the shower.
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
We had sex while watching the republican debate. I'm not sure how he maintained an erection watching Donald Trump speak.
She said she was sober from drugs for a week. All I heard was Kenny Loggins singing Danger Zone.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
