you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Just had a 10 minute long conversation with my cat about how if I died, and he needed to eat me to live, I'd totally be ok with it. Definitely still drunk.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
How can other people our age be acting like adults when I'm still taking my birth control pill with left over gin and tonic from the night before?
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
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