He came in the heat vent in my car. Don't ask how it happened.
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
Stop recording sex noises and setting them as my ringtones. This time it was at a funeral
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
Randomize
