I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
My arms in a cast, how am I supposed to have sex with only one hand?
more importantly I need two hands to eat pie
I give out orgasms like candy and ride a motorcycle...how is that not appealing
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
QUIT STEALING MY PHONE AND SEXTING MY MOM!!!!
Randomize
