I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
i just dont know how to see an unattractive person as more than a friend
We just followed a woman home because she looked like Jeff Goldblum. Turns out she lives in a trailer park.
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize
