dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
Your boyfriends underwear are hanging from my kitchen window. Where the fuck are you?!
I am descending into that finals week rage fueled by ramen, mountain dew and bad sex is what's up.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
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