Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn. I did not just catch my dad watching porn.
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
In other news, I just sneezed and almost shit myself. What is happening to my life??
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
Randomize
