Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
you humped every kiosk in the store. then you asked for an application.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
There are work activities and non work activities and dunking my head in a bucket of ice water pulling it out and shotguning a beer is certainly not a work activity
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
I really hope jumping jacks prevent pregancy because I'm kind of banking on it right now, do you know why there's a unicycle in the corner of my room?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
You had one beer and one beer can full of vodka and you took a huge gulp of one of them and called it Emily Roulette
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
Idk I was embarrassed that I hit it too hard so I played it off by spitting out bong water like a 'whales blowhole'
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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