i wouldn't be half as slutty if there were better things to do.
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
i think i left a case of beer in your dryer
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I knew it was on when he was dancing on stage and I gave him a dollar so in return he ripped my tit out of my shirt and started sucking on it IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BAR.
THERE IS SOMEONE IN MY CAR MILKING HERSELF AND TELLING ME TO TRY IT
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
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