Pants 0. Shit 1.
i think i have two assholes
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry for my penis texting you last night, I can't control what he wants at 4am.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
Maybe I don't remember every single thing... I think there's a hi lighter treasure map drawn on my arm...
I just found it. I hope it leads to food.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
The album on my phone containing gross pictures to send when boys ask for nudes is now substantially larger than my normal photo album. Because I send one every night
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Randomize