margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
I convinced her that there were two p's in Chipotle - the 2nd one was silent.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
His parents then knew me as the blackout who took care of him and stole his watch
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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