On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
im having a threesome with these popsicles
You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
Randomize
