That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Whenever a guy asks me why I like weird sex stuff, I just answer, "Catholic School".
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
Randomize
