I just walked into the kitchen and my dad was having this uber serious convo
With himself
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
after we had sex last night he told me he smelled like my vagina. and then he said that if his roommate had a vagina he would probably smell like it. because "they hug weird and shit."
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I dont care about anyone or anything else I just want to make love to you on my air mattress
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Where are you guys?
Drunk
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
