My main thought on the Olympics: I need LESS cowbell.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
we turned his baptism video into a drinking game
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
I'm gonna look back at these days one day and be like "damn I shoulda been turnt but I was in bed instead watching netflix"
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
Sexting my TA in lecture = awesome
And then she grabbed my dick and started singing 'ring ring ring ring banana phone'
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