btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
She's singing So Happy Together to her burrito, I want to be on her level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I should be a condom model.
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
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