Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
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I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Joined a porch party below me by climbing out the window and jumping off the roof. Tonight will be good
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
You’re welcome stay at my house. But, you gotta piss in the toilet
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
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