part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
i have nothing going on in my life. unless a toxic love triangle with netflix and jack daniels counts.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
If you wanna fuck the pudding, fuck the pudding. Just not the chocolate, Im gonna eat that.
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
The covid immunization shot lady also sold me a mondo bag of really good pot.
Randomize
