I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
Can we hire someone to dj while we have sex?
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Just got arrested in my crocs and rolled up pants with a mr rogers sweater for literally fucking nothing can u come get me?
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
