He said he was just looking at my pictures and was thinking about how he wanted to cut my hair..then dye it black and put platnium blonde extensions throughout it and layer my hair
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
He's like a Lana del Rey song that took human form
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
yeah i wanted to show him what i was missing, so i decided to send him a seductive picture, like the ones where the girls are eating strawberries and whipped cream. well i didn't have those, so i sent him a picture of myself naked eating a bagel
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