I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
so then they started chanting "LET'S GET A LITTLE BIT SCHWASTED. S-H-W-...WASTED!" theres nothing like partying with former high school cheerleaders
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
She seriously left me for a guy that likes his own statuses on facebook.....
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
JEREMY RENNER GOT DIVORCED. I STILL HAVE A CHANCE.
He came home at 2 AM on roller skates with his hair dyed pink while singing "Sweet Transvestite" and throwing glitter on all of us and everything we own. We had to call a cleaning guy.
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
