did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
He would have to make magical things happen in my nether regions to actually make me vote republican.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
No no no he wouldn't talk to me before I showed his best friend how good I am at twerking
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
