Tell your broad to take a big shot of 'chill the fuck out' and put it on my tab.
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Woke up the day after the party with a bruise on my stomach. Pretty sure my liver was trying to escape for fear of it's life.
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
so i may or may not have just had sex on the stage of the lecture hall....
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