I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The cabbie told us to at least pretend we weren't doing coke while he was driving
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
Adding to the list of things I have said out loud at the bar that I shouldn't have: "I am the yoda of sucking dick"
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
he's really high and upset. he just found out alice from the brady bunch died
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
