I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
IT IS EARTH DAY, RECORD STORE DAY, 4/20 EVE, AND SATURDAY ALL AT THE SAME TIME!
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Here's a tip: do NOT chant "MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS. MATTHEWS." during sex because the Packers won against the Giants.
Oh god...Did I just fuck a sugar granddaddy?!
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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