Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
i just overheard a girl at the next table saying she gave up sex for lent
don't you ever do that...
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Did you ever hear the story about the time I did blow in a bar bathroom with the #1 ranked golfer in the world?
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
Randomize
