Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
alright so where did all these fingerpaintings on my bedroom wall come from?
dude. you drew those with your dick
never thought i'd see a ''climb of shame'' until she came down from the attic in front of the whole party..
you pissed in the sink and didnt realize it until it was time to wash your hands
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
I bet my lungs hate me more than my liver
That's a hard toss up
It's not a walk of shame if you run
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
Randomize
