I wanna bring you to show and tell
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
Do you think the new Crest Whitestrips Advance Seal would stay on while I give him head? It would be great to knock out 2 things at once...
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
I want to sit on top of her nipple mountains and reenact the Ricola commercial.
His mom said he was in the ER and asked for prayers and positive thoughts. Apparently, me wishing the clap on him is not what she had in mind.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Nobody on Tinder wants to give you a Blumpkin.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
